We’re off to the beach for the fourth of July to hold Roman Candlesticks too close to our faces and make bombs out of Piccolo Petes. Hopefully we can blow off a limb and then get some press by going on Ellen, Martha, and Oprah and cry about our tragedy.
Happy Friday. Here is a good way to end the work week. Some offensive and horribly funny laughs at people that speak other than English with Catherine Tate! Gather all your co-workers… except for the ones that English isn’t their first language. (You know, the ESL students.)
I looooove Grizzly Bear but all my friends call the native New Yorkers ‘Emo Rock’ and roll their eyes when I play them. Luckily, I’ve found this Knife remix by Girl Talk to appease the modern ear. They’re so talented I have to showcase their many talents, so if you’re reading this STACEY & REBECCA, this song is more your speed. I was introduced to this gem from my Grizzly’s yesterday via my secret site where I find all my new music and you can download this song for FREE!
No I’m not going to let you in on my secret. What will you do for me? Really?
Ok.
It’s called The Sixty One.com and you can browse new music in all genres! A must for anyone who has an eclectic taste.
Your inflight movie on US Airways Flight 705 is ‘Look Who’s Naked’ and for snacks today we’ll be serving some nuts with a tall drink of man.
I need to fly US Airways more because on their flights they have homoerotic passengers like 50 year old Keith Wright who for some reason got butt ass naked. Two off-duty cops who were on board as passengers helped to subdue Wright who was running around the cabin naked before he was handed over to officials on the ground.
If he was old and ugly I would understand the cuffs officers but look at that ass and tell me he didn’t make the flight go faster for everyone.
Finally for once Brad Pitt and his man thighs need us more than we need him and it feels damn good. You still need us!
Brad’s cool guy image came to screeching halt yesterday as he tried to outrun the paps with a faulty motorcycle on Franklin yesterday in Hollywood, CA.
It’s becoming exhausting as a blogger to keep up with all the “breaking Michael Jackson news” and I think my fingers are going to start bleeding so I’m going to sum it up for you. These stories are more like headlines and don’t need a three page description.
L: You know it’s Whitney with that opening run. I kind of like it.
Chelsea: I don’t care. Is this going to pick up?
L: She’ll be screaming by the end of it! Whitney does sound a little more raspier than before.
Mandy (From Oregon): Who is this? Whitney or Britney Spears?
(laughing and pointing at Mandy)
L: It’s Whitney even though she sounds like Fantasia. Like the song was written for her.I’m kind of done with this song now because it doesn’t really go anywhere. I’d listen to it on a long drive or maybe when I WAS TANNING.
A: Simon Cowell would vote her off.
L: OMG please push pause or something.
A: I didn’t know she’d lost her own strength. Bobby Brown took it from her.
Certainly an upgrade for long lashed Zac Efron and a total downgrade for the uber hotness that is
Megan Fox… and does anyone really care about that Vanessa Hudgens. She’s so Disney girl desperate to go bad.
So the scoop is that Megan was spotted sharing an intimate dinner date with her crush on Tuesday night at Pace on Laurel Canyon here in LA.
A source at the diner said:
“They were very friendly and their faces were close when they talked.”
Megan Fox and her always on and off relationship with Brian Austin Green is currently off so she not being whore’ish. However, Zac is being a man slut because he is still with that Hudgens girl. Listen Zac, Vanessa is not going to help your career. You want to bump yourself up in the fame game? It’s all about you and Megan and a sex tape. I should be your agent.
Megan has said before in an interview:
“What you don’t know is that Zac and I are the same person. It’s like Janet and Michael, we are the same person.”
So Megan… you like to sleep with yourself or siblings? I’m confused.
If you hate your nose, take a page from the book of Lady Gaga and avert people’s eyes by wearing ridiculous things. Tape on your nipples, enlarged hats, leotards with bubbles on them, ANYTHING so people can’t see your face. IT WORKS. The only problem with this outfit is it highlights the stretch marks on her bubbies.
Fortunately, the electrical tape looks great on. Unfortunately, you don’t want to be around when Lady pulls them off. Ga-Gowwww!
Well no wonder we couldn’t find any gay bars the last time we were in India.
The high court has decriminalized homosexuality in New Delhi, India, striking down a law created in the 1860s by the British. The old law criminalizing gay sex was punishable with up to ten years in prison. That’s a pretty ironic punishment, considering all the hot gay jail sex that would be available to you for a decade.
Congrats India! Get your gay on… as if you already haven’t been.
This is too funny. This will help your workday go by faster. Go ahead, forward it to your co-workers and be the big star at the office today. You are just so hip and current.
<
