Archive for April, 2007

NUDE CELEBRITIES - For Our New Listeners!

Heath Ledger

Kirstin Dunst

Sienna Miller

Rupert Everet

Paris and her only best friend she keeps around, pot.

Geri Halliwell

Colin Ferrell


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WHERE


Here’s Alex, pretty much wasted, at the Dreamgirls DVD release party, but where’s Lynn?

Well, Lynn didn’t attend because the two of us were fighting and he thought it would be a great punishment, if he choose not to show up and Alex had to work the red carpet by himself.

Even though he was wasted and alone, they still made Alex work the press line, and he worked that shit OUT!


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SOMEONE MAKE HER STOP!

BRITNEY, WE KNOW PLENTY OF GAY GUYS THAT WILL DRESS YOU FOR FREE!

PLEASE HELP US HELP YOU.

YOU LOOK LIKE A HOOKER, AND NOT IN THE GOOD “TOXIC” VIDEO WAY.


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Golfing With Grandpa



OMG, this picture makes you wonder what kind of sex these two can have without breaking Michael Douglas’s back. Like what positions do these two get in, he seems like he’s five days away from death.

She looks like his daughter who’s waiting for her dad to kick it so she won’t have to work. Oh wait she already doesn’t.

Just watch, he’ll dump her for someone younger like Katherine McPhee!


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Do You Really Want To Hurt Him?


It’s official. Boy George is the craziest fag out there! Just when you think he couldn’t get freakier he kidnaps an escort and cuffs him to the bed.

Auden Carlsen met Boy George on Gaydar and went to the star’s house to pose for some photos in exchange for £400. Here’s what he says happened:

George said he was popping out for milk at 5am. I heard him come back and I walked into his bedroom wearing just my white underpants and a T-shirt. I was jumped on by George and another man.

George handcuffed me to a hook by the bed as they held me down. The duo then produced a slew of sex toys and told Carlsen, “Now you’ll get what you deserve,” according to The Sun.

Carlsen broke free and fled the scene, “I was convinced I was going to die.”

Police arrested Boy George, who has been released on bail. Boy George had no comment, but a police official remarked:

We are investigating an allegation of false imprisonment and common assault made by a 28-year-old male at an address in EC2.

Hackney CID are investigating and a man in his 40’s has been arrested in connection with the allegation.

He was originally taken to an East London police station but has subsequently been bailed to return on a date in July pending further inquiries.

Poor George was all drugged up and thought he was an escort. Oh wait he was.


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Stunning Starlet DORKS

BEFORE MONEY:

AFTER MONEY:


Even Hollywood A lister go through their awkward stage, and it’s our job to showcase it for the entire world!

Who would’ve thunk that those unknown teen magazine girls you probably skipped right over would’ve both grown up to be close friends, have amazing not too skinny bodies and both date Justin Timberlake? Scarlett Johanson and Jessica Biel were even hot with friendship braids and a scrunchy in their hair!


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Il- Legally Blond On Broadway

WTF!? There was a time in history when talking pictures came along that Broadway lost its audience but never lost it’s pride…..until now. Fast forward half a century later and Broadway won’t even hear a pitch that doesn’t start off with,”Let’s turn ( enter blockbuster name here) into a Broadway play.!”

Legally Blond: The Musical, is the first in a long line of Broadway nightmares to come, these hideous scores and tacky sets are like sequels BUT WORSE!

Until Broadway finds it’s original thought again, we will just wait for the swash buckling songs of Steven Speilberg’s adaptation of Goonies, that’s soon to hit the stage.

Here’s some stills from the FLOP, sorry…we meant musical.

LOOKS LIKE SHE WEARS THIS OUTFIT FOR TOO LONG IN THE PLAY. THE REAL ELLE WOODS WOULD’VE CHANGED BY NOW.


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Kelly Clarkson


You can’t look at the cover of Kelly’s New Single, “Never Again” without questioning if she’s a lesbian. She’s wearing a leather dress( dikes on bikes), she screams lesbian rock ( sounds like a younger and angrier Melissa Etheridge), and never associates a gender to who she’s singing about…EVER!

We are just presenting the clues and we will continue to do it until she comes out. We love her to death don’t get us wrong, we are totally those gay guys singing along to her in our cars, but it does make you wonder.

Listen to her ferocious lesbian scream here:


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WE CHANGED OUR NAME BECAUSE WE

Alex couldn’t stand people not being able to get to the website because they didn’t know how to spell Lynn’s name. So we had to chose something catchy, a real Hollywood screen name, that would still have our names attached to it in some way.

So find us at:

WWW.LARAGMAG.COM

Stop the World, I Want To Get On.

Same website, better name.


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EXCLUSIVE: Pilled-Out-Paula

A source close to us, let us know that Paula likes the pills, and even has a prescription to MORPHINE PATCHES from her doctor for back pain.(Just so you know, a morphine patch is what they give heroin users to stop using)We’ve learned she’s not into hard core drugs, but doesn’t argue with the dizzying effects of morphine, and can sometimes go on a binge for days. Everyone always thought she was drunk on A.I., but in reality she’s as high as Iggy Pop!

Now we can prove it! TMZ has video of Paula so high on pills and morphine that she can’t even sell her own products on QVC.

Watch the co-host try and fill in the blanks while Paula grasps for words, and stares vacantly into the camera.

WATCH PILLED-OUT-PAULA VIDEO HERE

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