Kanye West Defends Chris Brown, OJ, Michael Jackson & Phelps

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A: Let me start by saying I did buy download his last CD. So he has talent, but remember, I also have the Lady GaGa CD.

Here we go. Guess who said something offensive to a large crowd of people? The man who loves a synthesizer like no other, Kanye West offered up his unsolicited two cents on the alleged altercation between girl biter, Chris Brown and our favorite island diva, Rihanna during a February 13 taping of VH1′s “Storytellers.” The controversial comments were edited out of the show and will not air… due to the demands of Chris’ recently rate increased publicist.

According to a Reuters report, at one point during the taping, West asked the crowd:

“Can’t we give Chris a break? … I know I make mistakes in life.”

L: Totes, let it go. He just beat up a young girl and BIT HER FACE. Let’s just all act like it’s no biggie.

Eloquent, modest, and always diplomatic Kanye West also reportedly received anxious applause when he followed by saying,

“Michael Jackson, amazing. Michael Phelps, amazing. … He’s a real f—in’ person; he makes mistakes.”

L: Is pot smoking a mistake?

It gets better rag readers. Wacko West goes on to chat up the crowd with how amazing O.J. Simpson is:

O.J. Simpson, amazing. Is he not? What he did, when he did, what he did. Was he not amazing, though?

A: I guess getting away with murder is amazing. You know who is amazing, Tonya Harding.

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L: Kanye West is one of those guys who is so opinionated and convinced that he is absolutely right… the worst dinner guest ever. He has tantrums, remember at Mtv, when he didn’t win his nomination. Brat!

A: Okay, in his defense. He did tell America that George Bush doesn’t care about black people. That was at a fundraiser.

L: Kanye should write Hallmark Cards. He has such a way with words. Must be the rapper thing… you know, words and all that rhyme.

Lady GaGa is Gangster Goth

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A: Am I just high, or does her entire crew, and her, look completely stoned? Beautiful and Dirty, rich, and beautiful.

L: The eccentric and pseudo glamorous Lady GaGa and her gangettes band worked the the red carpet prior to their gig at the VIP Room Theater in Paris, France on Wednesday night.

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A: Damn GaGa, thank God you are all trimmed down there. Crazy crotch curlies are not cute or cool… you just end up picking them out of your teeth… right? Is that just me?

L: Yes, we like the album. Yes, that does mean that we have the mentality of an eight year old girl… and our 8 pound dog wears a Coach collar. What? We are victims! Victims of our environment.

What’s The Deal With The Kim & Paris Feud? LA Rag Mag Exclusive”

Paris & Kim Kardashian Feud? – LA Rag Mag.com

A: There was no way we could interview our girlfriends Kim & Paris without asking them about their recent falling out and public displays of distaste for each other. Remember during NY Fashion Week some producer thought it’d be funny to sit them next to each other. Classic!

We hate it when our girls fight because we’re stuck in the middle and we can’t choose. Gone are the days of calling each other fire crotch and getting arrested these starlets have taken a course in PR Answers 101.

Megan Fox and Her Girls Are Single, Sexy, & Free – Cleavage Alert

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L: Damn girl, work those magical mammaries. You look delicious. Love the short shirt, yummy tummy. Sultry and recently single, Megan Fox was spotted sporting some serious tit crack and affirming her new availability. Like when a pregnant woman’s breasts swell… she is available for suckling.

A: Why does the wind kick up when celebrities walk in front of a camera? God even treats them better.

L: She totes dressed that way when she was dating that soon to have his own VH1 reality show, Brian Austin Green. How’s Donna? Are you still letting your friends play with guns?

A: Don’t you think she dressed that way with him because she was looking to upgrade? She’s a hot young actress in Hollywood, get under a guy and get some press.

L: She was sorta slumming. I mean 90210 circa 1990. She might as well date Ian Ziering.

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A: He must hate seeing the milkies that he won’t be giving kissies to any more.

L: Megan’s a party girl, but I’m sure she’ll “date up”. Meaning: Specific to Hollywood CA and NYC, NY. Defined as a romantic partner who’s celebrity exceeds yours, thus, increasing your celebrity status. Think Tom Arnold… and all the Housewives of Bravo.

It’s A Gay Ol’ Christmas – Jake Gyllenhaal’s New Musical Movie

Jake’s going from THIS..
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To THIS?
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A: (Jumping up and down while clapping) Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Jake “Gay Icon” Gyllenhaal is starring in a remake of the musical Damn Yankees opposite Jim Carey! Jake will sing, dance, all while holding a bat and wearing a baseball outfit. Who cares if it sucks!?

Jake’s a middling baseball player who sells his soul to the devil in order to become a world-class slugger.

Our cups runneth over with joy…can we see yours Jake?

Adam Carolla Reaches 1 Million Downloads & Other Rag-Tastic Links

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ADAM CAROLLA’S #1 WITH OVER 1 MILLION DOWNLOADS – Listen Here

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NEW FETISH – Nip / Tuck Introduces Us To Sex With Objects. Which Is Why We Watch

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QUIZ – Which Mega Teen Idol Dates This Homely Girl? SITE NSFW

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“At times I was incapable of getting enough oxygen to get my lines out on stage, and sometimes I’d forget where I was in the play. This misconception that I was out partying was wrong. My problem was that as soon as I woke up, I wanted to figure out a way to get back into bed.” — Jeremy Piven.

CRY BABY – Jeremy Piven Straight Up cried Twice Today During His Hearing For “Mercury Poisoning”.

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NUDE NEWS – Today We Have Bud Bundy Naked. That’s not even the humiliating part, he has a TRAMP STAMP!

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THERE ARE GAY PRESIDENTS – Taiwan’s President In Gay Sex Scandal

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MOVIE TO MUSICAL – Finally They’re Making Priscilla Queen Of The Desert Into A Musical

Jonathan Rhys Meyers Enters Rehab Again – Insert Irish Joke Here

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A: Jonathan Rhys Meyers promised Promises Rehab Facility in 2005 he wanted to get sober, and then he promised Promises Rehab Facility again in 2007. Now the Irish born hottie is checking into rehab in England, because if anyone knows how to get sober it’s the British!

L: Irish Joke Insertion – Does he really need all that string to tie up his pants zipper. He not packing anything down there…. unless you count that flask in his pocket. Drunk, clover hunting, leprechaun.

Word is that his bosses on the set of The Tudors, told him to fix it after his drinking became an issue on set.

A source tells the Irish Independent newspaper:

He has his demons all right, and he’s trying to cope with them as best he can. I couldn’t have coped…

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Kim Kardashian Bikini Calendar Photos Leaked

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L: Damn girl, looking good.

A: Booty does a body good.

L: These are behind the scene shots of Kim Kardashian in Cabo San Lucas posing for her 2010 calendar that she posted on her blog that she keeps quite current… and yes, she writes it.

A: Why is it that her calendar photos are always leaked?

L: Is it “leaked” when it’s on her blog?

A: I have to go take a leak.

L: She looks great, and really, that’s all that matters.

A: Does sand get in the bikini bottoms when you lay in the sand like that? Seems scratchy and a bad area to exfoliate.

L: Isn’t that a screaming seagull?

A: It is if you are a frat boy somewhere in New Jersey. Do they have colleges in Jersey?

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L: Kim, careful sweetie darling, you can get a yeast infection from ocean water. It happens. Not cool. If you knew her (and her sisters), you would know how absolutely adorable, modest, sweet, non-assuming, down to Earth, and lovely lady that she is. She hasn’t changed since her accidental celebrity. You would want her gorgeous vagina to stay fresh as a Summer’s Eve too. We heart you Kim… and your lady parts.