Archive for April, 2009

Zac & His Mom Return To LA

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A: Look here’s Zac and his Mom landing at LAX after promoting 17 Again around the world.
L: They’re adorable, and they have the same hair!!
A: She looks more like Vogue editor, Anna Wintour don’t you think?
L: Anna would never smile that big.


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Jennifer Garner Explains Rug Burns On Red Carpet


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A: We all saw them and that’s why Letterman was worried…


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Timberlake Tequila: 901

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L: I’ll take a shot… or you can just pour it over my face, Justin. Up to you.

Because there is always more money to be had, Justin Timberlake has become a distiller of fine tequila. Why not? Apparently, he isn’t just slapping his name on clothes, and MTV shows, Justin’s actually making a respectable product.

A: His celebrity endorsements are boldly going where only P Diddy has dared to go before!

L: 901 Tequila is named for the area code in the JT’s hometown of Memphis and will be available to make you holla for 40 dollas in the Spring.

A: Oh God, I get it already, he’s from Memphis.

L: Just FYI. This guy took the tequila around to some NYC bars and got people’s reaction’s without the Timberlake’s name!

Self-proclaimed “tequila geek” Dave Kaplan, owner of East Village speakeasy-style bar Death & Co said:

“It’s actually a really nice product, It has a nice richness to it, a full-body mouth feel, a nice finish.”

Head bartender Brian Miller said.

“I gotta admit, I’m a little surprised,” he said. “I get some vanilla [notes] … I like that.”

901

L: I want some, I want some. Let me taste. I want to taste!

A: It doesn’t taste like Justin’s pores Lynn… it tastes like Tequila.

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Cheers Queers!


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Jennifer Aniston Can

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JENNIFER’S GOING TO ADOPT – Sources Say She’s Sick Of Waiting For Mr. Mom

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VINTAGE HOLLYWOOD – Ricky Martin As Bisexual Brando & Other Celebs Try To Be Legends

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EVERYTHING ONLINE!! – Unstoppable Hulu Joins Forces With Disney & ABC

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HEAVY PETTING – A New Site Dedicated To The Pets We All Forget While Having Sex. See The Poodle?

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QUIZ – Whose Tramp stamp is a little to the right when it should hang a little to the LEFT?

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A-ROD A ROID’ER – New Book Claims A Rod’s Been using Steroids For Years & Gets B++ch Tits?


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Guess Which Top Gun Star Is Gay"

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L: Is this a trick question?
A: No one really is gay and isn’t afraid to show her new self to the world. Kelly McGillis, the sultry serrenaded star of Top Gun, has trader in her bomber jacket for beavers. Even though she has two kids and was married once Kelly says it’s time to be honest.

“I did that, I need to move on in life. That’s another part of being true to yourself…that’s been a challenge for me personally.”
“I think that accepting my homosexuality was an ongoing process from the time I was about 12. I had a lot of things happened that convinced me that God was punishing me for being gay. That was a hard process.”

Welcome Kelly, we’re glad you could be honest with yourself. Here’s your gay gift and if you’ll just proceed to the next window we’ll be happy to get you your new Lesbian Look at window number 8.

Although get ready to be shocked because Top Gun was released in 86′ people.

L: WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!?? This is HER?

A: What? That’s her new lesbian look she just picked up at window number 8.

L: Uh ok, welcome.



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Dazed Paula Abdul Tricked By Bruno

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A: Paula wanted to be in movies but I don’t think she wanted to be ridiculed in the movies. Leaks from the anticipated Sasha Baron Cohen movie, Bruno, are saying that Paula does a sit down interview with the character and never even realizes what’s going on. Unlike other pranked celebs (Ron Paul) in the film who catch on quite quickly Paula never even bats and eye.

‘Hey Paula’ has a whole new meaning now.

“Paula was totally fooled. She bought into his character and to this day isn’t aware she was fooled,” the insider said. Abdul’s rep had no immediate comment. Universal, which releases the flick July 10, also had no comment.

Worth the $12 dollars right there!


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Redmond O

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Redmond O’Neal, son of Farrah Fawcett, makes his appearance at the Santa Clarita Superior Court for possessing a controlled substance during a search at a jail security checkpoint.

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A: Redmond pleaded not guilty but if this judge’s hairstyle is like her hand of the law, it’s been a steady hand since 1992. We’re afraid you’ll be spending a lot of time behind bars Redmond.



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Prejean Spins Hate Into Gold With The National Org For Marriage

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A: Carrie’s not rich in love, but she sure is rich with hate. Try 1.5 million dollars richer!!

This is just sickening to write and I’m afraid with all this attention we’ve created a Prejean Monster. Carrie Prejean’s entire life has been resurrected by landing an ad campaign for the National Organization of Marriage, called “No Offense”. Carrie’s not the only star of the promo, they also use Perez against us, as the snarling gay guy in the video calling Prejean a “Bitch”. I threw up a little in my mouth right there, but don’t worry, I’m going to get through this.

Instead of hindering opposition to gay marriage, Perez Hilton’s question has exploded in our hands and fueled their fire. It doesn’t matter that Carrie got breast implants weeks before the competition, or that she hasn’t returned any of the California board who nominated hers phone calls (oh and paid for those breast implants to win). What matters is that now the NOM have a pretty face to send their message of hate through.

It’s going to get really ugly.

The Miss California Board of Officials released this statement today, cutting ties with Carrie:

“We are deeply saddened Carrie Prejean has forgotten her platform of the Special Olympics, her commitment to all Californians, and solidified her legacy as one that goes beyond the rights to voice her beliefs and instead reveals her opportunistic agenda.”

That Carrie just doesn’t sound like she’s in this for the people. You know what I mean?

I’m glad we have this debate going so in ten years we can all identify the idiots who were against a group of people’s happiness. The NOM had this to say about the promo:

“Gay marriage advocates will have to account for their unwillingness to debate the real issue: gay marriage has consequences.”

Like the consequence of seeing two men have a more beautiful wedding than you did?



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Unfortunately, Heidi & Spencer Return Swine Free

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A: If their wedding would have been just three weeks earlier they wouldn’t have known about the Swine Flu epidemic and we probably could’ve gotten rid of them for a few weeks, perhaps forever. Although, then Spencer would survive and we’d lose Heidi, only to see him cry on every news program that would pay him. That’s in an ideal world.

In the real world, the two love birds are just fine, but they couldn’t touch down without wearing protective gear for the mob of camera eyes waiting to welcome them home.

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L: Ooohhhh Myyyy Goooodd
A: Can you believe this? I think I just have to concede and admit they’re both huge stars now.
L: What a sad sad world.



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Naomi Campbell Might Retire, Will Still Throw Things

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‘It’ll be 25 years next year. In terms of fashion shows, I don’t really see myself doing every show everywhere,’ the 38-year-old said.
‘I’m a woman and I’d like to be a mother one day.’

L: That way she can throw things at her baby… or just throw the baby. She gets mad people, really, really mad. Pitcher like Naomi Campbell currently lives and frightens locals in Brazil with her Russian property tycoon boyfriend Vladislav Doronin… surprise…. he’s a billionaire. That’s a shocker.

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