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Simon Cowell is going to be wiping his butt and padding up those man boobs with Benjamins because he’s been offered between $100-144 million to stay with American Idol until May of next year. A fraction of the Idol’s 900 million dollar take in last season. This is just his salary for the American version of Idol, he judges for several others. It’s fun to get paid to judge people. It’s also fun to judge people for free. Judging is fun.
He gravitated to older women. For solace? Succor? A beard?
Wait, what did Jane Fonda just blog on her website? Did she just quietly and coyly out Michael Jackson after his death by saying he was looking for a ‘beard’? Jane’s blog centered around his fear of dying, but to the trained eye, Jane let us in on Michael’s big secret. Or at least what she thought of Michael’s sexuality.
It makes sense when you think about it. He loved shiny things and wore rhinestones GALORE on his military fetish outfits. He was theatrical and far too talented to be straight.
Lastly, wasn’t Michael a big lover of fag hags such as loved Elizabeth Taylor, & Liza? IT ALL MAKES SENSE. The kids aren’t his, he never dated…OMG his obsession with youth and staying young. You’re reading this now and it’s all clicking in your brain isn’t it?
Here’s her whole posting.
“This is the longest I’ve gone without blogging for some time. But sometimes you just have to let life play itself out without comment. Like so many people, I have been in a wash of images and feelings about Michael Jackson. I knew him as well as one could know him during the time before he did “The Whiz” and up through “Thriller.” I couldn’t pretend to understand him. There were so many complicated signals. Did he want me to be his ‘older women’ friend. He gravitated to older women. For solace? Succor? A beard? Did he want me to teach him the ropes? I never could quite figure it out. But I remember one day he was visiting me at my ranch north of Santa Barbara. It was the first time he had been in that region but he must have liked it because later he bought his ranch in that same area. Anyway, as we walked around the ranch which was perched right at the edge of the mountain overlooking Goleta, I pointed to a spot where I told him I wanted to be buried. Michael had a melt down right then and there when he heard this. He shrieked and bent over and said “no, no, no!” “ What’s the matter,” I asked. “Don’t ever talk about your dying,” he answered. “Don’t ever think about it.”
I think about death all the time. I rehearse my death. I think that’s a healthy thing to do. Death, after all, is what gives life meaning the way noise gives meaning to silence. Ooooh, I thought to myself, Michael will have a hard time of it as he ages. He will spend all his energy trying to flee what is inevitable. And now it’s happened. I like the fact that it was quick. Massive heart attacks that you don’t recover from are quick. You don’t know what hit you. That’s probably the kindest death for Michael. It’s hard to imagine him being happy as he aged. One more demon to try and evade. I like to think he’s happy now, free of his demons. Free and floating and knowing how his art continues to be revered and celebrated by all of us all over the world. It will continue.”
Source: Jane Fonda.com
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Wha-what-wha-what?!!
The biological father of Michael’s children is none other than the Dr. Arnold Keith who told the world he had a rare skin disease in 1993. Debbie Rowe knew the doctor and had a written agreement with him to NEVER reveal the true identity of the kids father…while Michael was alive. Now that he’s dead the cat’s out of the bag and all over the cover of this week’s US Weekly!
QUESTION: If the dad’s that white then the mother must be black because the kids have a carmel colored skin. Where’s the mother?
Another sharp turn in what we thought was Michael Jackson’s reality. I think we can all agree we didn’t know s+*t about Michael.
Michael’s public viewing will be held on FRIDAY at Neverland Ranch in Los Olivos, CA with a private memorial service on Sunday.
OH MY GAWD!
There’s a pot of fleshy gold at the end of Beyonce’s sisters’ rainbow, unfortunately no one’s following. I’m sorry but these images are scarier than being trapped inside a Mormon church on a Sunday and thirsty for a diet soda!
Solange is far more talented than Beyonce, but we’ll never know that because she doesn’t hire her mother as her stylist, so her freaky fashion is the only way we talk about her.
We love you Solange, we’ll just try and only look at your face.
Ironic that it’s a Max Factor make up shoot and she’s starting to age. Granted there’s not a crack on her face, but is she flying somewhere because she has some carry on luggage underneath her eyes that needs to be checked?
I think it’s fine to age, it’s Madonna who has the problem with it. I guess living off the blood of young orphan children only works for five years or so. Now it’s on to the next fountain of youth…sperm facials!
Crazy truths come out in a time of death and Michael’s secrets are fascinating the world. Sources say that Michael Jackson wasn’t the sperm donor and Debbe Rowe’s eggs weren’t even used.
That’s right, both of Michael’s kids were delivered by a white stork in the still of the night one evening. The stork was paid heavily for his services so he came down a lot faster than a normal stork would, due to the weight of his wallet. The stork shoved the babies inside Debbie’s womb not once but twice (Michael Jr. and Paris.), making neither of them the BIOLOGICAL PARENT of either kid.
There’s no question who the kids will end up with now that the stork is long gone and it would take a lot of work to find him.
It’s Granny time! Grandma Jackson already has temporary custody and is going for full during the court hearing on Aug. 3rd.
Robert: Is that the guy from Hustle & Flow? Terrance Howard?
A: Charlie who do you think it is?
Charlie: (Pause) Adam Sandler?
Robert: Who is it?
A: (dying laughing) I thought it was obvious. She looks kind of hot as a man don’t you think? That goatee is making my pants feel all tingly!!
Find out which singer has penis envy!
Josh is asking everyone in the latest issue of Men’s Health not to judge a man on the size of his nude because there could be things beyond his control in the studio.
“To me, it’s funny at this point. Whatever. It’s done,” he says. “It was very cold in the studio, by the way.”-People
We believe you Josh, we believe you.
Welcome home our new Mary Kate & Ashley, twinleberity children Marion & Tabitha!
Look at how much happier Sarah’s family is than mine.
They’re so perfect in this photo with the sunlight beaming inside, it makes me wonder why these two even bothered trying a have a kid on their own in the first place. Surrogates carry the burden and you reap the rewards! There’s probably a crew of make up, hair, and lighting people on the other side of the camera all making sure this picture turned out majestic. Which it did.
Sarah & Matthew’s twin girls, Marion Loretta Elwell & Tabitha Hodge Broderick are going to have a life filled with expensive clothing, the best schools, and friends in high places.
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