Did you guys miss Pam ruining her pumps, the sex party drugged by pig’s blood, and Jessica’s first boyfriend? Don’t worry
next week’s Sunday 9PM time slot will be chance for all you curious fang bangers out there to catch up on all three new episodes.

Booo. You whore.

The most horrifying part of last night’s True Blood episode wasn’t Sookie getting that devil ripped out of her back by that witch doctor little person. No, it was the fact that we don’t get to see episode 4 and if Jason will truly become a hot Christian soldier for two weeks!! I’ve seen this preview like three times now.

Britney Spears’ anti-depressants must be really kicking in because someone is doing the old hair identity crisis thing. Where is that hot pink wig when you need one. Not to be overly critical, because that is just not my way, but that color is just so not working for me. I would prefer for her to have the colored locks like that guy behind her. Although Britney’s body is absolutely rocking, I would also prefer to see if his carpets match his drapes.

Arnold: Come kids let’s go destroy the world
Kids: YEAAAAAH!

A: While the state of California’s budget spirals out of control Gov. Schawznegger took time off to take on his old enemy the ozone head to head with his Hummer. I get that his family’s big and they need a big car but as a public figure he should at least ACT like he cares how he’s perceived.

Why does Arnold drive around a hate-mobile when he’s signing The California Global Warming Solutions Act to reduce carbon dioxide emissions levels by 2020.?

Arnold fought to make the US military vehicle The Hummer into an acceptable car for people to want, so he drives that hate-mobile everywhere with pride and raking his brain to find a Hydro-Hummer. While it leaves his kids’ kids’ Earth in the dust.

Sorry I’m ranting..I’ve been with tree huggers all week.

Gossip Gay Here: Spotted, CW’s grungy golden boy boldly working a hairy face and some serious man cleavage. Ed, please put that Euro-trash man clevage and matching chest hair back in the closet next to your old Halston suites and dusty bottles of Drakon Noir. No ladies are going home with you unless you are hunting for a 59 year old Bianca Jagger. If that’s what you are into, best of luck.

I’ll never tell.

XOXO

Who the hell went and saw Transformers this weekend to escape the barrage of Michael Jackson news and music playing at every turn? Whoever did turned Transies into a monster mega hit of a bad movie, that we’ll all be forced to watch on planes, and then TNT for the rest of our lives!

The film made 201.2 million dollars in the US ALONE in a mere five days, almost matching the biggest opening of all time “The Dark Knight” (203.8 five day total).

Don’t forget they opened the film simultaneously worldwide so Michael Bay has really Transformed those terrible reviews into 387.3 million worldwide.

We can all close our mouths now.

L: Wow, Bernie Madoff is going to be really old when he gets out of prison, like really old. The Ponzi scammer extraordinaire has been sentenced to 150 years in prison by Judge Denny Chin today. Madoff ran the largest Ponzi scam in U.S. history for more than 25 years.

The government has also imposed a $170 billion judgment against madoff.

A: Who’s Bernie Madoff?

L: Are you kidding? He’s the guy that stole all the celebs money like Kiera Sedwick and Kevin Bacon. Remember Kevin said in the press he needed to work because they’d invested so much in the scheme.

Janet’s Tribute To Michael At The BET Awards

The report that is being published did not come from this office. I don’t know where the information came from, or who that information came from. It is not accurate. Some of it is totally false.”-LAPD

We just heard that Michael’s autopsy report is a fake! The Sun gave us frightening details about the singer’s mangled body and the gossip mags ate it up! Fake details such as:

- Michael’s hips, legs, and thighs were covered with needle pricks

- Michael was wearing a bad wig at the time of his death and his scalp was covered in peach fuzz

- Michael also suffered from broken ribs when the EMT’s tried to perform CPR on him

In other Michael news, Granny wants the children, and his family wants a second autopsy because they’re positive his Dr. is at fault. The Dr. disappeared for a couple days and then surface on TMZ this weekend with a high priced lawyer ready to take on the Jackson family. Father Joe Jackson, is still scum who promoted his lame-o projects on BET’s red carpet, horrifying!

We decided this weekend no to kill ourselves over this Michael news because A) it isn’t funny, and you come here to laugh, and B) it’s going to take four to six weeks for a toxology report to come back ( I asked an OR Doctor) and we want to know all the facts.

People are so desperate for an answer we’ll believe anything right now.

Farrah’s star on Hollywood Blvd. thanks to Dave Here!

Everyone over the age of 40 at the recent wedding I attended couldn’t stop talking about Farrah’s documentary, Farrah’s Story, so I found it online.

Why would such a private person make a documentary about her cancer?

This amazingly poignant documentary shows us why her message was so important, and I didn’t ‘t want it to get lost in the midst of the Michael meltdown.