L: Her panties weren’t a planned part of the show but it gave the unhappy audience something to look at.
A: Glassy eyed Amy Winehouse didn’t even know the words to her own songs during her comeback performance in St. Lucia where she let all her fans and herself down. Unfortunately, she proved us all right by showing up an hour late after drinking for six hours, and continued to pound back the booze while singing. As Amy stumbled all over the stage and mumbled to herself like a bum, the crowd who paid $50 a ticket started booing. Naturally Amy thought she was doing a great job because this is how ALL of concerts go nowadays.
Yes it was raining, and there were sound problems, but now we can’t call Amy a “professional loadie” anymore because she can’t even perform in St. Lucia without us hearing stories of her intoxication.
Amy’s already written her own ending.. and it goes a little something like this…
A: I just want to grab Amy by the arms, dig my fingers into her scabbed up skin and yell, BITCH GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!! YOU’RE SUPPOSE TO BE DOING DRUGS IN YOUR PRIVATE AMY TIME. Here’s the kept version of Amy, looking like some sober circuits are working their way through her brain. After that extended vacation she came out all right…right?
Wrong! Here she is the same night after transforming into Mrs. Hyde at 3:30 AM, wearing her trademark trash and walking like the Zombie Winehouse we know and love.
We could recognize those blood shot eyes anywhere. Watch out for some flying fists, she becomes a grotesque monster in need of a fix when the sun comes up.
A: The gay clubs are going to love American Psycho, Christian Bale, verbal abuse pumping while go go boys gyrate in speedos!
L: What don’t you F’ing understand?!
A: Twirl, then beat the crap out of the person next to you.
L: He’s publicist must be in full swing how do you fix this?
A: Going on the Ipod now! Our fellow bloggers were wondering who would remix it, and here’s the answer.
The PR has already started today with the Assistant Director, Bruce Franklin, coming forward:
“If you are working in a very intense scene and someone takes you out of your groove…It was the most emotional scene in the movie,” said Franklin. “And for him to get stopped in the middle of it. He is very intensely involved in his character. He didn’t walk around like that all day long. It was just a moment and it passed.
“This was my second movie with Christian, and it has always been a good experience with him,” added Franklin, who also worked with the actor on 2000’s Shaft. “He is so dedicated to the craft. I think someone is begging to make some noise about this, but I don’t think it’s fair. The art of acting is not paint by numbers, it’s an art form. “
A: Does this girl ever get a break? She gets all high on life and then has to come down because her drug karma came back to bite her in the ass.
Over $20,000 dollars worth of guitars and music recording equipment was stolen from Amy Winehouse’s home while she was in St. Lucia. She arrived home to find her door kicked in and called the police but thankfully she had her favorite guitar was with her.
L: Also her collection of designer crack pipes and tie offs were still under the floor boards where she left them. Sorry I couldn’t resist.
‘Amy is devastated. Some of the guitars are irreplaceable due to their sentimental value.
‘The flat is in a real state. It had been cleaned up in preparation for her return.
Amy
‘Now she will have to start from scratch to replace what has been stolen.’
A: Can you imagine trying to question all your druggie friends while they scratch themselves?
With her 21 year old fling Joshua away Amy’s back to her first and only love, getting wasted. Amy’s still at the Le Sport Spa resort on St Lucia, but is now hitting the bottle so hard at the hotel that the staff had to cut her off.
Wait, it gets worse-house.
Since she was cut off Amy took her relapse to the floor, crawling her drunk ass over to a party and drinking from other guests’ glasses. Now that’s some clean living!
Sources say that other hotel guests have asked she ben trandfered to another hotel or part of the resort so Amy’s renting her own private villa for another month.
Whoo hoo black tar heroin party at Amy’s room. BYON - Bring your Own Needles.
If you haven’t already seen Amy Winehouse dark areolas while she channels her best Aphro-druggie, consider yourself blessed. Or click here.
We’ve been seeing Amy in the nude so much that we’ve named her track marks! Luckily for us she’s replaced the high of heroin for the high of endorphins from jogging and sex with strangers like man toy Joshua Bowman.
Oh Joshua your hairy chest and man voice make my feel like I’m on the best black tar heroin I’ve ever shot in between my toes!
Seriously though, he is quite dreamy in a Gaston sort of way.
Amy Winehouse spent another laughter filled day with Joshua Bowman in St. Lucia, looking happier than Blake her jailed ex ever could make her. Take that Blake you cheating whore.
Joshua Bowman we found out is an actor with the Gersh Agency (huge) in NYC and he’s finally talking about his high profile fling!
‘She’s just a cool girl, very nice, and we’re just very friendly. She’s a good laugh - she is such a lovely girl and on great form.
‘I can’t say much more than that. I have been having a lovely time relaxing. It’s not been all party-party. I don’t drink much at all as it happens.
‘It’s true to say that I’m a budding young actor. But I’d rather get my name out there because of my acting rather than who I’m being photographed with. I wasn’t waiting until there was a photographer on the beach to put my arm around Amy.
‘I love the industry and I let’s see what happened in the future. I haven’t really done too much - just bits for TV but nothing major at all. Just bit parts at the moment. I am definitely not going to bring up as evidence of my acting credentials the sh***y stuff that I have done so far.’-SOURCE
Just don’t forget your court date on Jan. 12th though Amy in Norway for drug charges.
Mystery Matt is what we’re calling Amy Winehouse’s Caribbean love interest who she’s been seen hanging all over the past week. Winehouse is doing her own form of rehab which includes eating at buffets, sunbathing topless, and sleeping with hot strangers. She’s addicted to his special brand of crack i.e. his penis!
Amy met Matt after he played Father Christmas in a play at her Caribbean hotel and the two have been glued to each other every since.
Wake up Winehouse, you’re going to have to leave the island sometime…won’t you?
Oh our God, what a cutie. Hollywood has officially gone to the dogs, with movie hits like Beverly Hills Chihuahua (which we loved), and the upcoming Marley & Me it seems we’ve found a cash cow in our best friend.
Even Dreamworks wants to cash in our doggy style love with their thrown together film, Hotel For Dogs which comes out January 23rd.
But the real question on all our minds is what the hell is Kristin Cavalleri doing at the premiere?
She hasn’t been famous since MTV’s Laguna Beach in 04′. Even the fact that we have to explain who she is proves our point.
UK sources are claiming that Amy Winehouse’s husband is a scum bag looking for a payoff. Blake Civil, the best husband in the world, who was once again put behind bars for a dirty drug test recently, is demanding a 2 million divorce settlement and he’ll keep quiet about all those nasty nights filled with heroin.
If this druggie was smart he’d realize that people want to read that and he’d make more money going for the book deal. Use your library time in prison Blake.
“Blake has asked Amy’s manager for £1million to walk away from their marriage and not write a tell-all book about it.
“He’s so two-faced. He just wants a pay-off. Money’s his driving force.”- News Of The World
Amy screwed him one last time before he went to prison because Amy’s classy like that, and now he wants a paycheck. What an idiot.
How can Amy’s track marks and scabbed face compete with the flawless body of a German supermodel, Sophie Schandorff?
Well they can’t and Blake’s already legally married to Amy so he’s going to try and divorce her and take some of the “Rehab” money with him. He didn’t even tell her he was getting out of jail, all he wants is his heroin money for life. Disgusting scum.
“It’s over. There’s no way back for us now. It was never going to last. We were only together for SEX.
“I fancied him like mad, like no one else I’ve ever known. But it’s not enough, is it?”
An unreliable UK source is buzzing with the news that the couple’s relationship was filled with lesbians romps, threesomes, and weekly drug comas.
“She says he wants to be with Sophie—the model who made a play for him during his court appearances, mouthing ‘I love you’.
“Amy knows he’s been in touch with her and it’s almost like she thinks they’re welcome to each other.
“But she’s so furious she won’t let the girl’s name even be mentioned around her.”
Hopefully Blake is to Amy what K-Fed was to Brintey and she’ll turn her life around after she detoxes from her man drug.
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