Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt at the premiere of The Tourist in Madrid, Spain, last night

Seriously this time.

I know, I know, it’s hard to believe these two are EVER going to get married but sources say Brangelina are planning it in Jodhpour, India. I’ve been there! So on the glorious day when the planets align and they do get married – I’ll just close my eyes and piece together a wedding with my fractured memories.

The Hindu priest, Gurudev Ramlalji Siyag, an 83 year old mystic who calls himself “one of India’s living saints,” is reported to have taught Brangelina yoga and meditation techniques during a tour of the United States.
According to a friend, it has helped ease the stress of their hectic lives – they are raising six children while travelling constantly for film and charity commitments.
“They’ve been practicing his Siddha yoga and they start and end the day by chanting a sacred word he’s given them. It’s transformed their relationship they’ve both cut back on drinking and no longer argue,” a friend told the paper.

Either that’s true, or it’s just a really slow news day before Christmas and everyone loves a Brangelina story. I’m still skeptic.

Next week we’ll all say they’re breaking up and Angelina is taking all the kids but until then….I heard they’re getting married, again.

This could be that stinky nature man I saw sleeping on a bench in Weho orrrrrr Mr. Pitt.

Even with a few wrinkles, Brad’s blue eyes still come through at the Megamind premiere in Paris. But he brought that girl with him… Angelina!

Mr. Trump is working the scandal and controversy angle with the Miss USA this year. Let me introduce you to the new Miss USA 2010 winner Rima Fakih.

You might also know her as the winner of the “Stripper 101” competition for a local Detroit radio station back in 2007. Good times!

How long has this been going on?

Is a celebrity rumor true if another celebrity confirms it? In this town of loose lips and even looser relationships.. you bet your ass it IS! Howard Stern, is a man of his word. If he tells you to bend over so he can throw bologna on your ass he means it. So I believe Stern when he stopped by Rosie Radio this morning to confirm to the world that Brangelina, are no more, and the end of the world is near.

Rosie asked how and he said that he knows people and knows things and that he can pretty much say for sure that they are no longer together.

Howard said that even though Angelina Jolie is the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen that Brad should have known better since Billy Bob Thorton, a man who has a fear of antiques and only eats orange food, said that she had too many problems for him.

So Angelina must be like this bi-polar freak who throws babies when she’s mad or something. Angie’s worked for years to gain the “Perfect Mother” image and it would all be shattered in the eyes of American mothers if they did break up. Ask any mother.

I saw Billy Bob in an elevator at the Four Seasons, and I don’t care how bad he looks on the big screen, something is uber hot about that man. His sideways smile and scruff, his lazy gaze, and smokey voice totally worked on everyone in the cramped space, but he did look little too kinky of a cowboy even for me.

So if you’re an orphan wishing on a star at night from your bunk that Brangelina will come save you (like me) ….you missed your window.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie showed up with their adopted son, Maddox, at last nights LA premiere of ‘Invictus‘.

First off… what is baby hungry Angelina Jolie doing wearing her bathrobe to a premiere? I know it’s a bathrobe because I have the same one. Doesn’t she look so different without all those hairpieces tied to her scalp? Her skin looks good… but she has total crazy face. You know she does.

Brad, if you would shave off that hideous dried up beard you would look like 20 years younger. I’m guessing you are saving the big beard shave when you need some press.

Maddox is looking adorable and has a chance for a normal life since he does not share blood ties with the Jolie’s.