Here it is, just released. The trailer for ‘Burlesque‘. It will either be huge or a total bomb. Christina Aguilera’s first acting gig since the Micky Mouse Club and she is opposite the living legend, Cher. That is some pressure. The flick will hit theaters on November 24th, just in time for Thanksgiving. You go see the movie while everyone else watches that football game thingy.

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Eye liner loving and apparently an equal fan of male genitals, Christina Aguilera is full of all sorts of interesting revelations as of late. She is one super sexualized mother.

She is chatting up some quotes that are really just gems of the English language like this one, ‘I love dick. To be honest, that I cannot live without’. Some how I really believe her. Here is some of her more interesting tidbits from her Out Magazine interview….

“I don’t think I could ever really be with a woman because that’s a lot of…” Aguilera pauses. “Yeah, there’s a lot of estrogen and I’m a lot to deal with when it’s that time of the month, so I can’t imagine it times two.” She then shakes her head and adds, “And you know, I love dick. To be honest, that I cannot live without.”

I totes understand. Totes.

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Oooohh pretty kitty has nails!

Don’t cough around Christina Aguilera because she’ll threaten your life, seriously. She lashes out at this reporter then tries to fake laugh it off like she was joking. She won’t really kill you… but that shade of hooker red lipstick could make a blind man see again.

Christina has obviously been spending waaaaay too much time around Cher on the set of her new movie, Burlesque, and is taking a full cycle of the Diva Drug. The same drug I got hooked on when I hung out with Cher and am currently celebrating three years sober.

Get ready to be grossed out. The new mother has said her sex life has improved since the baby. Wait there’s more…the family run their own nudist camp every week on “naked Sundays”. If you haven’t watched Extreme Makeover:Home Edition naked, than you need to “Move That Buff”.

“We’re big art collectors so there’s lots of female nudes around the house.

It’s something to be respected and seen as a thing of beauty,” she insists. “I think it’s only weird whenever you shame it and raise your child to look at it in a weird light.”

That’s all fine and dandy as long as you prepare yourself for an exhibitionist son in high school who gets wasted and rips off his pants, just like Mama.

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According to this pop treat, “Not Myself Tonight”, just released today and soon to bumping at your local gay bars, Christina Aguilera is a sometimes partying boy and girl kissing bitch who doesn’t give a fu**. Her words, not mine. Is it believable that mommy Aguilera is this shot taking girl that’s feeling unusual? Whateves… it’s nice to hear a pop treat dispenser with a real voice. No matter how she may smell, this girl can sing… and drag queens all over the world are already working on their renditions.

The track is off of the dirty girl gone robotic fourth studio album, Bionic, due out on June 8th.

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Christina Aguilera cleaned up nicely for her lastest album cover art. It’s arguable that she has even showered before taking this shot for the ‘Bionic’ cover. Tomorrow, on her website, she will be revealing a teaser audio clip of her soon to be released single, ‘Not Myself Tonight’. Let’s hope that this album is better than that last terrible Target superhero nonesense that she dumped on us…

“I was able to explore and create a fresh, sexy feel using both electronic and organic elements with subject matter ranging from playful to introspective. I am so excited for my fans to hear the new sound. It is something I don’t think anyone will expect.”

Bionic features songs co-written by Aguilera along with her much buzzed about collaborations including Sia, Tricky Stewart, Polow Da Don, Le Tigre, Hill & Switch, and Ladytron among others. Aguilera notes, “Working on this album with so many talented artists and producers that I admire was really an amazing experience.

She has also just released teaser lyrics to her upcoming single, ‘Not Myself Tonight’:

‘NOT MYSELF TONIGHT’

You know tonight
I am feeling a little out control
is this me
you wanna get crazy
because I don’t give a…

1ST VERSE

I’m out of character
I’m in rare form
and If you really knew me
you’d know its not the norm

B SECTION:

Cause I’m doing things that I normally won’t do
the old me’s gone I feel brand new
and if you don’t like it fuck you

Hmmm, sounds fun…

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Did Reese Witherspoon do her hair?! There are just so many things wrong with this photo. Doesn’t that hurt? Camel toe having Christina Aguilera is caught on set of ‘Burlesque’.

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Christina Aguilera is hot again. Let’s get real here people. She sorta let herself go after that kid shoved his way out of her tiny little frame. She is now back to pop diva status, oh, and she has a real voice. We’re glad our Mousketeer gone sex kitten is back for business… turn the red light on. Here she is showing off her new hot bob on a night out at Mozza restaurant here in LA last night wih her husband Jordan Bratman.

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In the new broadcast ad, set to debut later this summer, Aguilera sings a lullaby of �America the Beautiful� to her son, who was born in January. The Grammy winner said she didn�t think twice about putting her son in the spot because it�s �inevitable that he will be subjected to some amount of press,� so it might as well be channeled into a good cause.

Whatever, she’s trying to make him as famous as Shiloh, Coco, Maddox, Harlow, and Cruz Beckham. Baby Hollywood is becoming more competitive than real Hollywood.

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PLAY AMERICA’S FAVORITE GAME!

PLAY AMERICA’S FAVORITE GAME!

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Run! It’s Attack Of The Monster Boobs!

They’re kind of like Japanese Puffing Fish.

Are they suppose to have visible veins? Do they all have that?

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