Archive for the 'David Beckham' Category

David Beckham Bronzed & Livin



Want to know how badly our lives all suck compared to the Beckhams? The couple is worth $125 million, have three beautiful boys, and get to do it to each other all night if they want while staring in the mirror.

Just gaze upon their perfect vacation on the beaches of Santa Monica. With their perfect bodies, and their perfect ten year marriage, and their perfect life. The only thing that isn’t perfect about David is he talks a purse falls out, but we don’t need to talk. TRUST!

Meanwhile, Posh is teasing Davey all day long by sucking on a big brown cigar. Isn’t she suppose to be naked with only his favorite tie on while she does this?



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Victoria Beckham Hungry for Turkish Vogue

Looking amazing while clearly hungry and emaciated,Victoria Beckham is a proud example of nutritional neglect.

Dresses and bikinis hang perfectly on the protruding shoulder blades sharp enough to cut lines of coke on a compact mirror… it’s totes working for me. Rachel Zoe would be proud. Get your August issue of Turkish Vogue and enjoy all 50 pounds of David Beckham’s glamour puss.



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Posh

Posh Spice aka Victoria Beckham must be taking some serious prenatal vitamins to grow that new hair over night.

I like the longer hair on her… she looks more human. It could be that she has a kid with her but for some reason she is looking much less severe than normal.


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Dakota Fanning Frightening Make Up

You can’t have everything. Yes she may be prom queen at her high school, cheerleader… and in a slew of huge movies… but she is a shambles in this hot pink lip smear that she has slathered all over those youthful lips of hers. Those grandma glasses aren’t helping things at all. Disaster. Dakota Fanning is photo’d here in Rockefeller Square showing off her bad choice in lip color.


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The Amazing Singing Chinese Boy

Get your gossiping office crew and gather around your computer. Listen to this boy belt out an amazing rendition of Whitney Houston’s, ‘I Will Always Love You’. Okay… so at about 1 minute in things get interesting. The first minute is like watching one of those crazy Chinese game shows on LSD… exactly like that. I don’t know how the voice emanates from that zoftig Asian boy. He sounds much like what I imagine a Venetian castrato would sound.

I love it, you love it. Thanks.


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OMG" David Beckham Injured - Video


Ok. I’ll be honest here. I don’t watch sports. Ever. Unless figure skating, rhythmic dancing, and Dancing with the Stars count… oh, and wrestling… for all the wrong reasons.

This sports story of David Beckham’s recent injury that might cost him some big championship game is causing me much emotional distress. I feel like I can’t be there for him at a time when he obviously needs me by his side… holding him, clutching him tight, caressing his swollen leg…

David Beckham’s latest game with AC Milan, a 1-0 win against Chievo Verona, ended with an injury last night when he was taken off the field due to a torn Achilles tendon. He was reportedly in tears afterward in the locker room, saying, “It’s broken. It’s broken.” The damage comes at a particularly bad time for David, considering his hopes of joining the English team in the World Cup for what would have been a record-setting fourth stint. He’s off to Finland today to consult with doctors, who say there’s a slight glimmer of hope that he may make a relatively swift recovery depending on the exact location and severity of the tear.

I will be dressed in all black today. Because I am in mourning… not trying to look thinner, that is an added bonus in a time of much sadness.


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Cristiano Ronaldo for Nike

I have heard of working out in front of a mirror… but this is ridiculous. Hot. Ridiculous.

Here we have the latin Beckham, Cristiano Ronaldo making more money off the field than on. Speaking of off… doesn’t he become so much better looking with his shirt off? Well, whatever the case may be, here he is selling Nike shoes shitless and sexy. Shoes and sex, not a bad combo. I’ll take my combo extra large size please. Thanks.


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David Beckham Mobbed In Manchester

Sometimes I wonder if fame is fun… of course it is! The darling of the ball kicking world, David Beckham is having a blast pushing while posing his way through the infamous foreign press at Manchester Airport in England today, right? At the very least… he looks amazing doing it.



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David Beckham Sans Shirt

It’s been too long since David given the photographers something to shot. Giving himself some air, David Beckham flaunted his tatted torso for the fans after AC Milan’s 3-1 victory against Atalanta in Italy yesterday.



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David Beckham Vs. Victoria for 10

hers

OR
his

It’s a hard days work for the most photogenic and photographed couple in the UK… David and Victoria Beckham. Check them out fighting and flaunting it for the front cover of the UK’s 10 magazine. David chats up his deals with Armani and other skin filled sponsorships… this is what he had to say in the article:

“I still feel quite shy when I see a poster or campaign like that. It was a daunting experience stripping off in front of a room of people but after a while you get used to it – although my mum still hasn’t.”

Picture 5Picture 6

Which one would have you picking it up off the newsstands?

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