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Portia Taking Ellen’s Last Name

August 10, 2010 by


‘Petitioner is taking the last name of her spouse,’ the court papers state.

Reading about Portia De Rossi (not her real name) filing papers in an LA court to change her name to DeGeneres makes me want to change mine even more. I already filled out the paperwork, but the daunting task of dealing with those lovely government employees at the Santa Monica Courthouse is something I’ve been avoiding. Lynn and I have been married for five years, as opposed to Ellen & Portia’s two, and I just feel more like an Alexander Warren than an Alexander Ali. I should do that today… Portia already did and it won’t even become official until after a hearing in September.

Wanna reinvent yourself? Take a page from Portia.

When she was 15, Portia transformed from regular white Australian ‘beech’ to sexy Euro bitch just by changing her name and it soooo worked on Hollywood.

It will be the second time she has changed her name after she was born Amanda Lee Rogers.
The Australian-born star legally changed her name to Portia De Rossi when she was 15, taking Portia from a character in The Merchant Of Venice and De Rossi because she wanted an exotic European name.

Filed Under: Ellen Degeneres

Madonna & Ellen DeGeneres are Cousins

April 3, 2010 by

So I guess this eliminates the chance of Madonna and Ellen ever becoming a lebian power couple… or does it?

It turns out Madonna isn’t the only “Lucky Star” in her family. In fact, the queen of pop and the newest judge on American Idol, Ellen DeGeneres, are 11th cousins according to genealogy researchers at Ancestry.com. The two entertainment giants are related through a common 10th great-grandfather – a Frenchman named Martin Aucoin. In the early 1600s, Aucoin’s daughters Jeanne and Michele left their native country of France to settle in Nova Scotia, where both Madonna and Ellen’s families remained for several generations.

DeGeneres’s family left Canada in the late 1700s when her 5th great-grandfather Joseph Martin relocated to Louisiana. It wasn’t until the late 1870s that Madonna’s 2nd great-grandmother Emilie Daniel left Quebec and crossed the “Borderline” to Michigan, where the singer herself calls home.

You learn something new every day.

Filed Under: Ellen Degeneres, Madonna

Portia De Rossi Apologizes For Gay Marriage

March 23, 2009 by

A: You have to lose something to know what it’s worth and that’s exactly what happened to the gay community and Hollywood when we lost prop 8. We all just assumed since we, the most popular kids at Hollywood High were gay, and Prom King Brad Pitt gave money, we had it in the bag but we didn’t. Now famous gays, like Portia De Rossi who married Ellen in October before their rights were taken away, are apologizing for hurting the Yes on 8 people.

We’re just sorry we got married three years ago before it was cool.

Filed Under: Ellen Degeneres

Ellen Degeneres & Portia To Try Fertility Treatment

February 19, 2009 by

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A: Ellen could give a shit if you think she should be able to marry and be happy, she’s going to do it anyways loud and proud and that’s why we love her. You see Ellen was able to somehow stay honest with her audience while staying true to herself and grow in ratings.

So why not try share their love with a kid of their own? They already have a million dogs. Our sources are claiming the world’s most famous lesbians want a kid that talks back.

“They would love a boy. But would truly be happy with any healthy baby.

“[Portia] is prepared to go through it (IVF) 10 times if she has to. Whatever it takes to get pregnant, she’ll do it. She’s been changing her eating habits. Her goal is to gain a few pounds before they start the IVF process.

“Ellen and Portia are mad about each other. And having a child together will only strengthen their bond.”

A: Then Ellen can write funny children’s novels about having two mommies!

Filed Under: Ellen Degeneres

Please Knock On Our Door

December 16, 2008 by

We’ll start crying and singing along we promise.

We both agreed we’d have a heart attack if Ellen and Britney came knocking at our door. The clip of them singing was hot sauce. (Shut up… we’re trying to make it happen)

Part 2 of their Carol-a-thon.

Filed Under: Britney Spears, Ellen Degeneres

Ellen The Cover Girl

December 11, 2008 by

A new kind of Cover Girl has arrived.

Im thrilled to be a CoverGirl, says Ellen. Ive been practicing in my bathroom mirror for yearsNow finally, youll all be able to see it.

She’s the first Lipstick Lesbian Cover Girl!

Queen Latifah? What are you doing here?

Filed Under: Ellen Degeneres

Ellen & Britney Go Caroling

December 8, 2008 by

As if Ellen couldn’t get any better, on December 16th, she’s giving us Britney caroling in sunglasses.

Looking faintly like the Britney we remember with that smile on her face instead of the pop prisoner we’ve seen these past few months.

Either that …..or her Xanex and Valuim are kicking in.

Via: US

Filed Under: Britney Spears, Ellen Degeneres

Taylor Swift Slams Joe Jonas On Ellen

November 11, 2008 by

Taylor Swiftly took her revenge out on Joe Jonas today on Ellen after already posting a broken heart video on Myspace. We were lying in bed and gasped with the entire audience, when Taylor revealed how Joe dumped her over the phone!

“When I find that person that is right for me and he’ll be wonderful. And when I look at that person. I’m not even going to be able to remember that boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds. When I was 18.”

Yes, there is a song about it on her new album called Forever & Always, in stores today.

Ellen’s response? A whip sound.

“I looked at the call log it said like 27 seconds. I t had to be a record!”

Joe at least spared her the dreaded email or worse ever, the text breakup. TTYN.

Filed Under: Ellen Degeneres, Taylor Swift