A: Yawn, we don’t care if she’s fat or not anymore because it was all anyone could talk about last week. Even if she became the State Puff Marshmallow Man-Woman we wouldn’t write about it. Ok …we would but STILL this is the last time we’re talking about it now.
Jessica still wants to talk about it because it’s the only way she can plug her tour, in complete denial saying to the CBS Early Show:
“Honestly, I am right where I’m supposed to be. I am so happy. Right now I’m on tour with Rascal Flatts, having a blast. We’re at Madison Square Garden tomorrow. Everybody’s just been so warm and welcoming. Lots of hugs, I like that.”
A: Yeah guys, everything’s really GREAT! LIke when I cry on stage and don’t remember my songs like the rest of America. I really feel like I’m really growing by having you all denigrate me and my leopard belt! Everyone’s so warm and welcoming.
Jessica’s not letting it get her down though, she’s still smart enough to get that cash and also announced today she’s coming out with a luggage line…. to carry all her food in! Ok sorry, no more fat jokes.
Jessica Simpson is set to release a luggage line for for fall 2009. A full line of luggage, travel bags and business cases made from leather, canvas and nylon in a wide range of styles will be produced by Olivet and hit stores under the Jessica Simpson Collection label this fall.
A: Since Britney’s all better and Lindsay’s a lesbian we can spend our idle time tearing down Jessica Simpson now! Apparently she’s performed last night and forgot lyrics to her songs (didn’t we all?) and even started crying on stage because Tony Romo her “love” was a no show!!
Everyone’s talking about it but we didn’t really even care about her enough to break her down.
B: OMG she’s not even the headliner! She’s opening for Rascal Flats.
A: She forgot the words and asked to start over!
“Jessica had an off night. She’s a perfectionist and wanted to start some songs over. She always wants to give the best performance for her fans.”
B: You are a performer which means you keep it going!
A:Jessica probably shopped her ass off for the last two days to find the perfect outfit for the final stop on her tour no one knew about, in Charlottesville, Virginia. Thanking her fans and her new leather pants for their support.
‘Please remember, no matter what you go through in life, somebody else might have it harder. I feel like in our world today we focus on so many things that are completely pointless.Thank you for your support. Stay positive, and pray out loud.’
Did she just call me FAT?
Jessica Simpson must be eating up all this hefty press. Her weight has become such a hot topic they’re having the Editor of People Magazine, Galina Espinoza, and a model come on The Today Show and come up with words to explain the phenomenon!
“Jessica Simpson is becoming part of this trend we call body-bullying,” Espinoza told Morales. “People are cruelly mocking her, making her feel like there is something wrong with her just because she has a slightly fuller figure. It’s something that’s going on increasingly in Hollywood.”
Body Bullying?! Bitch PLEASE! Try living in West Hollywood , CA where if you frequent McDonald’s you’re invisible. Don’t you agree Jessica?
A: We’ve figure out the reason Jessica Simpson is overweight, she never finished her exercise video! Jesssica is facing a $10 million breach of contract lawsuit from fitness company Speedfit for not filiming her DVD in 2005.
The problem? Jessica showed up “tipsy” and in no shape to teach fitness so father Joe didn’t allow the DVD to be released.
An insider tells Radaronline.com, “Jessica was a mess during that shoot. They asked her to come back and reshoot, but she refused, and that’s why she’s facing a lawsuit now.”
No one wants Jessica’s mom arms now! Come on Jessica say it with me! Lift it 4, and 3, and 2, and 1, exhale down.
A: If you were one of those nasty people laughing at Jessica Simpson’s weight gain ever since she went country….then welcome to the club! Getting fat in Hollywood gets you more press these days than releasing a film! It’s only a matter of weeks before we see Jessica on the cover of US Weekly under the headline “How I Lost 20lbs By Only Eating Game Day Food”.
All the stars are coming to her rescue and speaking out so now we all have to shut up …..and laugh at her leopard belt tricks quietly.
When I saw that picture, I knew everyone was going to say something. And I thought, ‘You know what? Leave Jessica alone!’ She’s fabulous, she’s a really sweet girl, and I admire her for putting up with it.”- Kim Kardashian
When asked about what she thinks of the whole Jessica Simpson weight gain talks, Miss Cyrus quickly replied, “I don’t think she’s fat!”
A: They should have asked Miley if she’d like to have Jessica Simpson’s figure. L: Let’s go get some Big Macs, we need the press. A: 2 for $3.50!
A: Look at this Lynn! Ashlee Simpson’s defending her sister from the evil media! L:Snoring
“I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight,” she writes in a blog post on her Celebrity MySpace page. “A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.”
A: I understand now…. she’s saying her weight is crushing our hope for Obama!
Jessica Simpson’s getting some bad reviews today for stopping the show on her live Good Morning America performance of her old hit With You. The video’s great because she gets right into it!
Stumbling off key, she stops the show and says,
““Hold on, I know this is live TV, but I can’t hear anything. Do it again. 1, 2, 3.”
Surprisingly, she screws it up again a moment later, which is sooooo unlike her.
Poor Jessica just can’t seem to catch a break from the turning tide of public opinion on her new “country roots”.
We’re rooting for you Jessica (which we never have before so it’s a big deal), just sing what you love. People will come around.
Six years legal at 27, Jessica Simpson has signed on to be the sexy face of Stampede Light Plus, a beer made by Dallas’s Stampede Brewing Co., that includes some sort of vitamins? WTH? Jessica gorgeous face will appear in store ads and will take a 15 percent stake in the brewer.
In a statement, Simpson said that she is:
“always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people.”
“Yes, I work out and take care of myself,”… “but I also like a cold beer once in a while.”
Is someone coming near to the end of their career? Shoes, bags, country music, hair extensions… Get that cash before we forget who you are.
Clearly, this girl likes to get her drink on. Good Times!
At Country Thunder recently, Jessica Simpson sounded more than desperate when she pleaded with fans to stick with her.
“I’m never going to make another pop album again!”
The crowd cheers here but it’s because they all hated her pop album not because they’re excited for her country one.
“I’m staying in country and that’s where I plan to be. If you don’t go buy this record on September 9th I’m just going to make another one and you’re going to buy it on another September 9th”
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