The perks of running a website and having a fraction of fame in the form of two boxes from the Access Hollywood Stuff You Must Lounge, landing like two oversized angels this morning. We don’t haul that stuff away the day of….that’s so pedistrian and NOT A list. The PR companies send stars their swooped up swag weeks later so you don’t have the emabressment of lugging out bags that look like their filled with illegal immigrants!
This arrived at 10:00AM and we didn’t know what we’d find. Did they send us everyting we wished for? The Crunch Membership? The Platinum Keurig Machine? Jane Lynch got one…why wouldn’t we?
Fav item: A Year Membership To Crunch Fitness. Do you think celebs really take in their free gift certificate or are they too proud for that? CUZ WE’RE NOT!
(Sitting at lunch with Alexis Arquette & our straight friend mike)
Alexis: I know where you can buy a picture of Marlon Brando giving oral sex to a guy in the back of this restaurant. L: SHUT UP A: Show me and I’ll buy it. M:Colonel Walter E. Kurtz is giving head?!
The picture is said to be Marlon Brando giving oral sex to Wally Cox his lifetime friend and partner who was know for his ….big talent. Legend says it was part of Brando’s private collection the photo was burried for years during his marriage and his fathering of many children. Even though he allegedly continued to wrestle on the side with such boy toys as Cary Grant, Rock Hudson, Stewart Granger, Montgomery Clift, John Gielgud and James Dean. A: Alexis Arquette was right. Ladies and Gentleman LA Rag Mag gives you the infamous, the shocking, the gloriously eye opening…..
Yes, it’s shocking I know. Take a deep breath and relax, he always said he was a bisexual it’s just the photo that takes you there. But behind the shock is the love story of Marlon and Wally Cox that many people don’t remember. A lifetime companship, that at times was a love affair, with a classic Hollywood ending.
‘If Wally had been a woman, I would have married him and we would have lived happily ever after.’
Brando first met Wally Cox in New York City, where they shared an apartment together. Even during Brando’s wild years of booze, women, and sex with Hollywood’s hunkies stars. Cox moved out years later some say because he hated Marlon’s pet raccoon, but the two always stayed close.
(I’ve got to do something about the liver spots on my hands)
Brando was quoted in 1976 as saying:
“Homosexuality is so much in fashion it no longer makes news. Like a large number of men, I, too, have had homosexual experiences and I am not ashamed. I have never paid much attention to what people think about me.”
In the old days of Hollywood when you knew someone was gay you played along with their wife (like Hugh Jackman) and the pretend marriage because we were a civilized society. But things weren’t so civilized when Brando’s wife filed for divorce.
In 1959 Brando’s first wife, Anna Kashfi, tried to use this infamous photo as evidence in court to get sole custody of the children and it’s been floating around ever since. Recently appearing in the pages of Brando Unzipped.
Even when his ashes were scatttered they scattered Wally Cox’s ashes in California’s Death Valley with him. When asked why Marlon’s son Miko simply replied,
As a young gay boy who used to idolized Marlon Brando, and even had glossy photos of him hanging on my wall (how could my dad not know?) it was well worth the $15, and I paid for Alexis’ lunch.
It’s not just the movies or the stars that make Hollywood, it’s the stories.
L: We’ve known Alexis for some time now… but this is our first time doing the whole family thing with her. It was great.
A: I do have to say when Alexis invited us to spend Easter with her family I didn’t believe it, but Alexis never lies to me so I picked out an banging Easter outfit. L: We arrivied at a white modern mansion decorated with the most eclectic taste I had ever seen. It was like bohemian meets beach, with glammed out bathrooms… art everywhere. Patricia’s house was right on the cliff and she greeted us with a genuine smile as I passed her the Veuve Clicquot and Mini Krispy Kreme’s we had brought. Not like she needed anything, Patricia’s table had an organic spread fit for a Whole Foods Staff meeting.
A: We had to thank Patricia for including us because this wasn’t a big party like we thought. It was rather intimate. There were probably 20 people there with kids. So there’s all these fabulous kids running around, all looking like Baby Gap models, and one latches onto to Lynn & me, because suddenly we’re best friends and after hanging out all day I realize this is one of the Getty kids. He was adorable. I loved how the parents & Patricia, allowed their kids to play with any toy they wanted. They had trucks and sparkle Barbies in the same basket with pink unicorns and no one cared. No parent ripped a doll out of any boys hands or a gun out of a girl’s hand. So refreshing compared to my family gatherings and the toy box. I’ve had an Aunt take a Collectible Figurine out of her son’s hand at easter and say, “Oh Alex, his father would kill me if he saw him playing with dolls.”
L: Oh remember when Patricia called me evil?
A:Rosanna Arquette got locked in the pantry for a few minutes and was banging on the door for help but no one heard her over the screaming children. Someone finally gets her out and Lynn could not stop laughing at how freaked out she was to be locked in a space that is the size of our kitchen.
L: That’s when Patricia called me out because I was laughing too hard. So I escaped outside to smoke by the pool and who comes walking in but Milla Jollavich, her director husband, and her stunning daughter. A: Yeah and you said she looked like a model baby, and everyone paused until I said, she IS a model baby. We had a moment me and Milla.
L: When?
A: I was pouring the Champagne and she ran over for some so we toasted.
L: PLEASE! Milla, and I were smoking outside with LUKE PERRY and Alexis. A: I’m so glad you controled yourself around Luke because I know you adored him as a litle gay boy.
L: You have no idea Alex! Ok I used to turn off my Swatch Watch phone ringer off and put on my headphones on my TV so I could watch 90210 with no interruptions. Then there he was… next to me… still with that tight little body and we’re having a cigarette together. I die! A: Did you see that big hole in the back of his shirt? I could see the small of his back the whole time. I hate how heart throbs like Luke can just roll out of bed and throw on a hat. I threw a fit at the dry cleaners over a stain on my white Gucci pants and he’s wearing a trucker hat?! Why did I bother?
L: Anyways, back to me! So I helped Patricia hide the Easter eggs and got a moment to tell her it was nice to be included in her family’s event. She’ just like she is on TV’s Medium, very sweet, funny, real… and a great mother.
A: So that’s when David Arquette arrived with Coco and let me tell YOU!! He is sooooo much hotter in real life. One of the few celebrities where that is the case. All these dads were going around, David included, sucking on huge cigars… many with their shirts off. Can you say gay heaven? L: David was really cool though we talked about his charity, Feeding America, that we heard him give a speech on at the ACUI. A: I had done my research and knew his father converted to Islam and his mother was Jewish, much like my crazy family and we got to talking about that too. It’s weird though, I come from a small town, so to go inside and see the lives these “Hollywood Families” live just shows me more and more that all families are the same. Even if you have an oceanfront view. There was a moment where I just laid out on the deck in the Malibu sun and told myself this is all I want in life.
L: It was one of the best Easter I’ve had in a long time. Thanks to Patricia & Alexis.
A: Do you think we’ll be invited back?
L: DEF! After getting all their kids high on mini Krispe Kremes! We’re totes in!
A: Hey Madonna listen up, because that fashion line you love to wear is so out they’ve gone outlet on Melrose. After exploding into department stores across the country, designer Christian Audiger, did what any Pinkberry would do, he opened as many stores as he could. We all loved the vision at first, but yesterday I walked into my neighborhood 7-11 and that insufferable logo was on lighters for $1.99.
In that moment I decided it was time to blog my beef.
I ask you Christian which store should I go to to buy your clothing? Your full price Beverly center store, your pink outlet savings on Melrose, or Costco where I saw your t shirts piled up like dirty laundry last week? You know what, forget it, I know I can get some killer Ed Hardy bedding at the Linen Outlet, or maybe if that’s too busy I can go fight the bitches at Ross.
After discarding his Ed Hardy line to focus on his pricey Christian Audigier brand (same thing done with foil designs), and his daughter’s misguided Mexican gangster line, Crystal Rock, Christian’s supply and demand has transformed into a warehouse simply full of supply. The Ed Hardy empire is spiraling out of control as he saturates the market to make the last dollars he can on middle America still following the brightly colored coy fish.
Unfortunately, you can go into almost any store these days and find Ed Hardy on sale. Christian’s filling up our fashion land fill with a mountain of Ed Hardy clothing piled next to the platform shoes and the Hypercolor t shirts. The fad is over, the dream is dead, and all we have left are the douches still wearing it.
You see, we know that it is our DUTY to warn our readers when a fad is over, or when their kids might be asking for something that isn’t cool anymore.
GET INVOLVED IN THE REVOLUTION: If you ever meet a man wearing an Ed Hardy tie rip it off of him immediatley. That Skull & Cross bones doesn’t go with those Ed Hardy shoes.
A:BREAKING NEWS ALERT! Megan Hauserman, the sexy bikini girl that got her hair ripped out by Sharon Osbourne is having the best year of her life. She’s suing Sharon for bags of her money and after years of searching, she’s finding true love VH1 yet again. That’s right, our inside spies tell us that Megan Hauserman is going to be starring in her very own reality dating show call True Love.
L: Megan knew all along the way to your own show is to stir things up. When Sharon pulled out her hair, she probably got the deal in the ER.
A: I know what you’re thinking, here comes another I Love New York”, no, this time they’re going classy, because Megan’s a high price hooker. Megan’s not looking for any man, but a trust fund baby/man to leech off of. We hear, the show wasn’t easy to cast since the house is filled with self made millionaires and spoiled little douches competing to bring home Megan as their trophy wife.
L: It’ll be such a nice change to see guys with money on VH1.
A: Megan was always the smartest girl in the slow class ( all the other contestants) so it’s no surprise they’ve turned her manipulating ways and vicious words to stab the hearts and bank accounts of some new men. We’ve all seen this trophy naked in her playboy pics so these guys can get a sneak peek.
L: Can’t wait!! Megan’s going to be such a brutal bitch to all these kept men. Lick mommy’s Gucci heel and beg her to let you stay rich boy!
A: There was no way we could interview our girlfriends Kim & Paris without asking them about their recent falling out and public displays of distaste for each other. Remember during NY Fashion Week some producer thought it’d be funny to sit them next to each other. Classic!
We hate it when our girls fight because we’re stuck in the middle and we can’t choose. Gone are the days of calling each other fire crotch and getting arrested these starlets have taken a course in PR Answers 101.
A: Are you addicted to watching addicts try and become sober like us? Do you love watching celebs relapse on UnSober House?
L: That’s not fair there’s like 5 sober people and then there’s Shifty who loves the crack pipe.
A: Whatever, it’s Intervention done right and VH1 knows it. On top of Celebrity Rehab, and Un-Sober House, our reliable sources say Dr. Drew is currently in the works with a show that helps celebrities deal with the addiction of the moment, sex.
L: It sounds so good I think I just ejaculated in my pants. Is that a problem? Can I be on the show?
A: I KNOW! No word on the cast yet so let’s cast it ourselves. Hmmmm…let’s see.. Tommy Lee should be called.
L: David Duchovny won’t do it, but I bet Mary Carey would.
A: Ray J! No! George Michael! They have to have a gay cruiser.
L: So when they relapse do we get to see them have hot sex on the therapy couch in night vision?
A: Can you believe we totally caught Kellan Lutz & AnnaLynne McCord getting their tongue on in a photo booth at the Superbowl Party at the Playboy Mansion?
L: These two must have some really intense sessions, he’s biting it!
A: Is Annaynne, who I love, is she future A lister or future Elizabeth Berkley?
B: Anna’s so hot, but her boyfriend is giving me gay face.
BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS ….NEWS – The recession wave hit the marbled floors at E! Entertainment but Samantha wouldn’t go down without a fight.
Samantha Harris has been interviewing celebs at E! for years, at one point even being the main anchor, but when she was told her contract would not be renewed in January of 09′ sources says she was
“heartbroken but determined to keep working”
Word from our sources inside the drama-sphere is that she went to talk to our family over at The Insider (We love you guys) for possible employment. Sam knows her entertainment news because she’d be a seamless fit into the show, wouldn’t she? (Wouldn’t We?)
Meanwhile back at E!, ears were buzzzing and word got out that Samantha wanted to leave E before they could dump her, so instead they fired her yesterday.
Bring that beautiful chin up Samantha, you know you’re going to be ok.
With hosting Dancing With The Stars, that smile, and those serious journalist talking hands nothing can stop you.
You read it here first as a L.A. Rag Mag exclusive!
TEAR DROP, DROP, DROP! Our sources at ABC just told us some juicy gossip that our fav show has been canceled!
Allegedly, the addictive Dirty Sexy Money, may not even finish out this season because of diva behavior on set from one of the actors, and it’s not the one you’re thinking of. We’re not going to name names, because we can’t, but it’s officially over for everyone on staff including the actors.
We’ll miss escape into the Darling’s lives filled with excess in the middle of a recession, but our sources are rock solid.
Wait there’s more casualties! Dead character’s and scripts are lying all over the house of mouse.
ABC has also cancelled two other scripted shows, the Emmy nominated but never liked Pushing Daisies, and the guest star parade on Eli Stone.
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