UPDATE: Radar says it’s official.

Mariah in San Paulo, Brazil looking all kinds of Prego!! Is she or isn’t she carrying NIck Cannon’s baby? They have been hinting at wanting more…

‘Definitely, we want a family,’ the American star told InTouch magazine. ‘Yes, of course. It’s at the forefront of our minds.
‘We’re very close. But we want to enjoy our first year together.

Mariah will be such a good mother, just don’t sing your baby to sleep while hitting that high C.

Ooooh whoa oh whoa baby yeah! (That’s my vocal run)

First, let me start off in Mariah Carey’s defense (did I say that?)… it was the Palm Springs Film Festival. Really? What’s that? Never heard of this film festival. Palm Springs is a fabulous place but it’s not for film festivals, it’s for other sorts of festivities. The drunken sorts. Keep it real Mariah… real drunk.

Mariah, Mariah, Mariah! What are we going to do with you… all of you?

Hey Mariah, come here, I need to whisper something to you. There is something that looks brownish and feces like on the booty of your white one-piece swimsuit!

Does Mariah Carey not know that you photograph swimsuit and lingerie shoots in a private studio and add in the background later? Hell’er! You can be retouched/photoshopped before we see it! You don’t go to Malibu Beach here in California. You know how judgemental people can be of celebrities at the beach. (insert beached whale joke)

Girl, you ever heard of a water pill? I’m just saying. We don’t want to know that our ‘Butterfly’ has a normal body…we could hang out with our neighbors for that. Mariah, you are a super star… therefore; you must be glamorous and perfect whenever in public.

Ask Dolly Parton, she knows the rules to being famous.