Chris Brown’s NUDE Pics Leak

OMG we found the Lockness Monster, on no wait…. that’s just Chris Brown’s trunk.

Literally, his schlong is so large and in charge I think it’s a choking hazard. The tropical python almost doesn’t fit in the picture, I KID YOU NOT. See his walking cane at GAY STONERS.com. But I warn you it’s soooo NSFW.

Kanye West: NUDE”

CLICK HERE to see the NSFW photo…

Yikes! So maybe this explains why Kanye West was spending time with Kim Kardashian the other night… to get advice on how to deal with nude photo leaks. Who is he sending these to?

CLICK HERE to see the NSFW photo…

The Situation’s Pinky Sized Problem

UH OH! Looks like all my fears were TRUE! Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino has an amazing body because he has a lil italian sausage down there. This is the downside of fame…when you sleep with a Floridian Fame Whore who is bound to talk. Melody Eckerson’s dream date in Miami with Mike turned into a nightmare once he dropped his pants.

“I wouldn’t even call it a one-night stand, because he only lasted a few minutes,” Florida club promoter Melody Eckerson tells Star about their tryst in the Jersey Shore cast’s Miami Beach party pad.

“Let’s just say, I’m thinking of my pinky,” Melody tells Star.

PUH-LEASE! Did we think any different? We all know that Vinny is the one packing on the Jersey Shore.

Melody still slept with him so she could tell all the girls back at the strip club that she was special. Which she IS, because she’s in Star Magazine online… so there!

Owen Wilson’s PEE Time Not TEE Time

OMG is the bathroom that far away Owen?

Hawaii Five-O-MY ALEX O’LOUGHLIN” Will Hunks = Ratings?

I was ready to write off the new Hawaii Five O remake CBS is trying to push on me with a 5 page spread in Entertainment Weekly. Seriously, no joke, I opened my mag and trumpets blared the Hawaii Five O theme song. Their ad (no one elses) was one of those singing Hallmark cards, and I still can’t get that f’ing song out of my head. “Da da dat da da daaaahhhh!”

Pissed, I then turned the page and saw this photo of Alex O’Loughlin (J Lo costar of yesteryear) struting out of the Hawaiian tide, dripping in sparkletts of water like Edward Cullen’s vampire skin stepping into the sunlight.


How fickle me and my Tivo are! I know… but in my defense Alex isn’t the only pair of pecs on the show. James Caan’s younger hottie son, Scott Caan’s Scott Cann either a bad boy or Sandra’s ex pig, Jesse James. I’m not quite sure yet.

SIDENOTE: Remember when Scott flashed his twig and berries post a surf session in Santa Monica last year? That was a good morning.

CBS & Hollywood in general have ‘Twilight Body Worship Fever’ and know well lit six pacs can translate into 6 million viewers. I agree with all the women in America (surprise) when they say it’s about TIME we sexualize men in primetime! I truly believe we have True Blood, their cock socks, & Eric Northman to thank for that.

Cast with clothes on…boooo!

Back to Alex, I believe he is poised to become another one of those “LA overnight success stories” – that was ten years in the making. On paper Alex is already a Hollywood star:

1. Hard body: Check!

2. Network show finally: Check!

3. Career Bounce Back: Check – His ‘Back Up Plan’ film with Jennifer Lopez needed it’s own back out plan.

4. Five Fansites: Check!

5. Foreign Aussie Accent American women can swoon over: Check!
(Another Aussie star, what gives? Do we make our men too frail and short in the states?)

6. Cool With ‘The Gays’, attended Outfest, & Lives In Weho: Check!

7. Wait….did I just read that he LIVES in Weho and recently broke up from his girlfriend? CHECK! CHECK!

I’m not hard to please. I love skin on TV wherever I can get it so I’ll tune in. The real question is will my Cop crushes be able to pull off a remake in the 10PM time slot of death, when no one asked them to remake it?

Judge for yourself…Hawaii Five-0 premieres Monday, Sept. 20th at 10/9 c. Only on CBS!

One more just for funsies…

Eric Bana’s Bare Buttocks In Time Traveler’s Wife

Is it girl’s night and you’re looking for a good cry? Or a good view of Bana’s buns?

After spending a good hour watching The Time Traveler’s Wife starring Eric Butt’na & Rachel MacAdams we agreeded it was “that type” of movie. So if you’ve seen Benjamin Button, and didn’t love it like us, let us save you the trouble of watching Time Traveler and just give you Eric Bana’s butt.

This was the saving grace of the movie! See… every time he apparates, he reappears naked. What an evil way to get me to watch the whole movie right? He spends half the film abandoned, naked, and searching for something, anything to throw on, so is wasn’t all bad. They only gave us the butt twice, but this is the online premiere of Eric’s assets as far as my search is concerned.

YOU REALLY MUST SEE THIS! Eric’s buttocks…not the movie.

I believe in time travel now Eric, because I spent a laborious hour on this posting.

What about all that nudity? Here is what Eric told Access in his thick down under drawl:

“We had a time traveling expert on the set who said that for a fact if [Henry] were to time travel he would be naked,” Eric said. “We just had to take his word for it.”

Sidenote: Bana hates ab work like everyone else too.

“Abs are for people with no friends,” he said. “I don’t do the ab thing. I’ve even had them once, actually, for a film, and they were always covered up. I just said to myself, ‘Well, I’ll just never do that again.’ That was a waste of time. There’s so much more to enjoy in life.”

Calvin Klein’s New Boyfriend Has Gay Porn Past

SEE THE NSFW PHOTOS!!

That’s the problem with dating models….they always have some nudes floating around from when they were “discovered”. Unfortunately for Calvin, every gay in town saw his new boyfriend BEFORE his teeth were fixed and he still wore rapper-like faux diamonds in his ears from Claire’s. Nick Gruber was formerly known as Aaron Skyline for Next Door Studios

Before he was canoodling with the King of Calvins, Nick did some nasty videos, but now those earrings are off and he’s trying to become a legit lover just like Jesus Lutz. Where did those good ol’ days go when you could online date without sleeping with a porn star?

Can’t we just let these two date for two more weeks in peace? Probably not.

Joe Jonas Sports Cup Runneth Over, & Over

That’s a big bat he’s got there in his pants. I never realized what a HUGE talent Joe was.

BONER UP! Hey boner, boner, SWING boner!

Suddenly his music doesn’t sound so bad. I could sit through his Disney dance disaster Camp Rock 2, if he wore this.

SEE MORE OF JOE’s WISHFUL THINKING