L: Guess who got his ass kicked by a deer while taking a lovely morning bike ride… Matt Lauer. The Today show was just a little less Today without the our Matt making all things boring just a bit more interesting…. beauty does that, no matter how subtle the beauty is.
While compinsating for his balding scalp he was busy keeping his body fit by bicycling on Long Island, the Lauer hating deer leaped into the road in front of his body toning bicycle. Lauer quickly braked to avoid veering into the animal and the sudden stop sent him flying over the handlebars.
Surviving her life shortening stint on The View, Meredith Vieira explained to the Today show audiance that Matt was at home recovering from his battle of the deer and the bicycle:
“He was riding his bike over the weekend, and he had a run-in with a deer.”
How much hotter would this story be if he had been attacked by a bear? Now that would be sexy… pending that he lived.
A: This is the last season for Nip/Tuck and even their plot lines say it. Christian’s dying of breast cancer, and everyone’s miserable in LA. That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the irony of lesbian Dr. Liz Cruz walking down the aisle and marying Dr. Christian Troy just to give his son Wilbur a mother before he dies. Christian had sex with everyone on the show except his best friend so the only vagina left was the lesbian or they’d have to pay another actor, and times are ruff.
If you’re a die hard fan like us you still enjoy the show and it’s unraveling plot line lines like baby lip fillers, and random sex scenes on any flat surface the characters can mount. If not, you have no idea what we’re talking about and shouldn’t even be reading this, you should be working.
TV Guide got the goods on the unlikely wedding from Roma Maffia herself.
Of the wedding plot: “[It was] unbelievable and horrifying, yet fun.”
Of the wedding dress: “This dress was built from the ground up…it’s spectacular”
Of co-star Julian: “[He looks] damn good in a tux.”
On whether this means Liz is no longer a lesbian: “Liz does this out of loneliness and because a friend of hers is in dire need.”
On future plot lines: “Someone will have something to say [about the ceremony]…Liz has not yet found the love of her life.”
Her hips were never that large or square. How dare they, that’s like gay blasphemy.
They’re perfect even in Lego form.
You know what….her hands are like claws! Shouldn’t he be in Armani underwear?
Comes complete with dirty needles, Drug-house Dollhouse sold separately.
Unfortunately for us, these special characters have been created to mark the 30th anniversary of Lego’s minifigure but they will not be released to the public.
Is there any life insurance better than a French Billionaire’s daughter? Salma Hayek’s rich forever and after she delivered a little girl into the world with Francois-Henri Pinault, she’s called off the wedding.
Convenient isn’t it.
We are sad to announce the engagement of Salma Hayek and Francois-Henri Pinault has been canceled. There will be no further comment.
Get pregnant, get the cash, get out! The more you know. ( Bling Bling Bling)
OMG, this is the best story of the day…you’re going to DIE!
Ok, so Mark Ronson, British music producer extraordinaire, and Sean Lennon, used to hang out with Michael Jackson as a kid. This was before the whole molestation case, and Michael was having one of his kick ass sleep overs.
Mark has some pretty weird stories….
“It’s a weird story, but I didn’t touch him. We (Ronson and Lennon) used to watch the porn channel because we were, like, 10 and, ‘Oh my God, [boobs]!’ So Michael was in bed. And me and Sean said, ‘Michael, do you want to see something cool?’ We turned the dial to the porn channel and there were strippers shaking their [boobs] around. We were like, ‘Michael, Michael, how cool is this?’ We turned around and he was cringing, saying, ‘Ooh, stop it, stop it, ooh, it’s so silly.’ We were like, ‘Michael, you have to look, maybe you’re not seeing it right, it’s naked girls!’ He was not down with the program whatsoever! I think he had really strong feminist views on porn.”
The only boobs Michael wanted to see was some prepubescent nipple action!
Johnny used to be hot in that drunk on Pabst Blue Ribbon way, but now he’s been sewed up so many times. We bet seeing him naked would be like looking at Edward Scissorhands.
It was during this stunt that the Jackass finally learned a valuable lesson.
He wrote on his official blog:
Ive just got back from Oklahoma where I was shooting Mat Hoffmans tribute to Evel Knievel. I had a ball, too, even though I almost lost my own balls in the process!
I dont want to give too much away because it doesnt air until February 23, but lets just say before I did a back-flip on a motorcycle I should have learned how to ride one first.
I have to go now. I have to empty the piss bag on my leg that I have to wear for the next two weeks until my torn urethra heals.
Eww, he won’t be getting laid with a colostomy bag…..EVER!
Who doesn’t need this? It’s a lesbian’s dream come true, also works well for a frat house.
This lovely and sophisticated couch is large: measures 5′ 3″ long, 3′ 3″ wide at the middle, and stands 2′ 3″ tall. You can have this amazing gem for the low, low price of $600. What a deal.
The engorged clitoris doubles as a pillow for your head!
We listen to Oprah more than God sometimes so why not immortalize her and worship her like a God? Daniel Edwards loves to comment on our celebrity obsessed culture by taking our admiration of fame and shoving it in our faces.
Controversial American sculptor Daniel Edwards latest work ‘The Oprah Sarcophagus’, is a very full-figured sculpture of Oprah Winfrey – and that’s where the likeness begins and ends.-SOURCE
Yes, and Daniel Edwards, is the same artist that did the “Britney giving birth statue”, and the “Paris Hilton with her legs open” piece of art.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, there’s a war going on between Scientology and the Internet. Scary brain washing orientation videos have been leaked online, and they’ve been sweeping the net with their millions to extinguish them.
This one stars Kirstie Alley, which is truly frightening. Fast forward to the end to see her cameo!
Let’s go to space with Virgin for $250,000 dollars! No biggie right? Do they take personal checks?
Our favorite airliner, Virgin, unveiled their new space ship today in NYC and we can only dream our pal, Richard Branson, will give us a free ticket.
Test flights are expected to begin in June, with commercial flights starting 12 months later.
More than 200 potential astronauts are believed to have already paid deposits for the 100,000 flights, including actress Victoria Principal, scientist Stephen Hawking, and Princess Beatrice.
Flights will last for two hours and will include four and a half minutes of weightlessness. -SOURCE
After years of planning, Richard’s dream is becoming a reality.Congrats Richie.
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