Yes all these things have a common thread and it’s called “A night out in Los Angeles.” So Let’s start with the beginning of the night were I was in the presence of a typical LA “big wig”. The big wig part is heresay, but we were riding around in his Escalade with his mail order Japanese girlfriend in the front seat. No joke. She’s been here for 3 weeks and she leaves in 2. I thought mail order girlfriends only came from Russia, but it a business in Japan too. One of the best things I took from this music big wig was that Keisha Cole was called “stinky pussy”. I know it’s a little early for the p word, but this is all part of my night so bear with me.
So Keisha Cole was known as stinky P (I can’t write the whole word, I gave up cussing for lent and that’s a cuss word in my vocab, I’m sorry, I’m Hispanic, darn catholic guilt) because she would sleep with everyone in the business, but that was okay said the music big wig, “because she had vocals to back it up.”
This is the reason why Keisha came up. I guess this specimen named Nicki Foxx, double x because I’m assuming she’s x rated, which our music big wig confirmed because she’s known as “bad pussy”(sorry, had to reiterate the p word to make sure we’re all on the same page). Apparently Nicki Foxx can’t sing, but she sleeps with everyone in the hopes of making it into the business, and she likes to party a little too much. So she gets drunk, then tries to sleep with you and then she sings for you in hopes of making her singing dreams a reality. This sounds like the Showtime version of Smash. Katharine McPhee is Nicki.
All this was on the way to the Cirque Du Soleil show Ovo.
Ovo was AMAZING. Almost worth the grueling car ride to Santa Monica. Seriously though. Best. Part. Of. The. Night. That and the cocktails I consumed to make it more tolerable talking with the company I had been forced to endure.
Then this morning I wake up from my nightmares of Nicki Foxx and I go to Eartbar to wash down the dirty with an all natural protein shake with enough flax seed to make you think you’re actually taking a laxative and this walks in.
Well, more like this.
Yes, it was Kristin Cavallari and fiance Jay Cutler, without the fake smiles. Actually Kristin looked like she just ate a piece of raw cocao. Well, we were at Earthbar, so she probably did. This is a good picture of Jay, because let’s just say Kristin is marrying him because he’s a football player and she knows she needs a man with a career because she needs to be in another reality show and with Basketball Wives there’s bound to be a Football wives.
Kristin is so bitchy smart.
