LOVING: John Mayer’s ‘Battle Studies’ Album Which Is Sooo About Jenifer Aniston

This entire album is fascinating because we swear it’s ALL ABOUT JENNIFER ANISTON. Poor Jen, he’s obviously saying that it’s all of him or nothing so there was something she didn’t like about him. This is the insight we’ve got within the first four songs!

Lyrics that are breaking my heart while I write this like:

“You say you want to try again
All we ever do is say good bye”

Song titles like: Perfectly Lonely, Friends Lovers Or Nothing, Half of My Heart with Taylor Swift. John you’re making us cry and Lynn’s clapping after some of the songs. Well HALF of that song is good but then Taylor comes in. Oh and the song ‘Assasin’ sucks a big John Mayer pp too.

Maybe it’s our antidepressants kicking in… but we’re loving it. Unfortunately, Rolling Stone doesn’t agree:

On “Heartbreak Warfare,” Mayer delivers U2-style guitar and strained war metaphors: “Clouds of sulfur in the air/Bombs are falling everywhere.” That bust-up with Jennifer Aniston was bad, but was it really like the firebombing of Tokyo?Battle Studies is terrific when Mayer drops the seriousness, pondering and sending up his reputation as a rake.

Take a listen.

Mayer’s perfectly lonely and nobody belongs to him. Sad face.

Jilted John already tried going gay and that didn’t work but he’s extremely talented and well endowed downstairs (the bartender at my Christmas party confirmed it for us). He’ll be fine.