Remember when I told you New Moon was going to let us all down because Edward wasn’t in it and Jacob’s a 100% She Wolf with a nice body? Well the critics agree…
Los Angeles Times: “The connection between these two (Taylor & Kristen) is so self-evidently non-romantic that it turns out not to be much of a diversion.”
Chicago Sun-Times’ Roger Ebert: “the characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.”
Variety: “may be disappointed by Pattinson’s reduced presence” in the sequel, “as his Edward appears predominantly in mumbling visions until a cliffhanger that brazenly sets up the next episode.”
Boston Globe remarks: “Sorry, girls: The thrill is gone.”
Meanwhile the cast is crying all the way to the bank as the movie is projected to make $85 million in it’s first weekend. Just bring like a towel or something to sit on for those theater seats, because you know they’re all going to be wet from all the Twihard’s twats, you know who you are!
That’s the only way I’m going.
That and someone else has to pay… even for parking, and I have to go to the Arclight.
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